Little Things Mean A Lot

Over these last blog posts we’ve been looking at ways to bring the passion back into your marriage. We’ve covered some pretty big areas, but let’s take a look at some things that often don’t get much attention.

-Take your Christianity seriously.  In other words, don’t make excuses not to follow God’s Word.  For example, Philippians 2:14 says “Do everything without complaining or arguing …” That’s pretty clear, isn’t it?  So do it. Stop complaining about things, especially when it comes to doing something your mate wants you to do. That alone will help your marriage.

-Exercise a little self-control.  Whether it is your attitude, anger, selfishness, or whatever.  When we get sloppy with self-control, our marriage will take a hit.

-Know what says love to your mate, and express love in those ways.  Guys, if the best way to express love to your wife is by spending quality time with her, don’t think staying late at the office is going to get you a hero’s welcome, even if you are providing for the family.  Ladies, if the thing that expresses love to your husband best is physical touch, he’s looking for a lot more than a hug.

-Talk nice.  Sarcastic, rude, cutting remarks and criticism all work to quench passion in marriage.  Be kind.  Considerate. 

-Talk.  Remember when you were a kid you were told “Talk nice or don’t say anything at all.” That didn’t mean that you were to give your mate the “silent treatment” or the “cold shoulder”.  Talk it out if you have a problem with each other. 

-Go to bed at the same time.  Pretty hard for passion to grow if you aren’t even going to bed together.  If one of you has to get up early, fine.  But go to bed at the same time.  If you don’t, you’ll likely have less sex.  And sex is pretty important to a passionate marriage—don’t you think?

-Get the physical thing going.  Have sex. Have it more often. Be creative.  If you want to stoke the fires of passion, this is foundational.

There is a lot more that can be said about firing up the passion in your marriage.  There are great books, and if you read back a handful of blogs I have one on the Heroic Groom and another on The Storybook Bride.  Both are linked to podcast messages that will help.

And the biggest help? Give the Holy Spirit permission to change your heart . . . and your perspective.  It’s time to enjoy love in marriage the full potential God intended, don’t you think?  Give your marriage an extra ration of passion.  Little steps in the right direction really do mean a lot!




1 Comment

  1. Another thing you need to do is know HOW your spouse communicates. My husband and I are opposites. He’s a fixer and wants to talk about things right away. I internalize things and need to think before I talk. If he forces me to talk too soon, it gets ugly. I guess the bottom line is knowing each other – truly knowing each other.

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