Last time we were talking about how 1 Corinthians 13 is a great description of love, but it is primarily talking about how we love others in the context of the church. Love between a husband and wife needs all the elements of this passage, but needs some extra passion as well.
In marriage, we need the passion described in Song of Songs 8:6b-7 . . . a love that is as strong as death, a love that burns like an unquenchable fire. So how do we get there?
Revelation 2:4-5 is a message to the church in Ephesus, but it holds a clue to regaining passion in marriage as well. The church was going through the motions and doing a lot of things right, but the passion was gone. The people were told to do two things to bring the passion back.
Do the things you did at first.
We can do the same things in our marriage. If our marriage has gotten a little mediocre, we need to repent. That involves confession and a deliberate change of direction. Confess it to God. Ask for his help. And you may need to repent to your spouse for your part in allowing that to happen.
Next, do the things you once did. Think back to the days you and your mate dated and when you were first married. Start doing some of those things again. Here’s a few things to think about. We’ll add more next week.
-Go on weekly dates. Make your mate your focus. Talk about good things . . . don’t let it turn into a time to be critical.
-Turn off the cell phone when you’re on a date. Imagine going on a date with someone. You’re sitting at a restaurant, you’ve both ordered, and now your date pulls out their mail and starts ripping open envelopes and reading the contents. Even writing short letters in return. How rude, right? Would you keep dating a person like that?
That’s what you’re doing when you check texts, phone messages, or email when you’re on a date with your mate. Our culture has renamed this behavior. Now we call it “multitasking”. It sounds efficient, like you’re using your time wisely. Often multitasking is simply “rude” by another name. You’re communicating a subtle message to your mate–and it isn’t a good one.
-Show some excitement. When you see each other after work, let them know you’re happy to see them. Smile. Kiss. Hold each other.
-Listen when your mate is talking to you. Give them your undivided attention. Sure, there are times you’re working at something while you talk, but you need to create times where they have your complete focus.
This is getting long enough, so I’m going to stop here and encourage you to start. Bring back an extra ration of passion in your marriage by repenting, and going back to do some of the things you once did. More next time.